Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Tom Petty

Breakdown, go ahead and try to shift it
Breakdown, the shifter won't go
[Chorus]Break-dowwwwn!
Breakdown, I'm stuck in the lower ring
Breakdown, I'll go slow... I'll go slow... I'll go slow

Flexing my musical biceps once again, I think I've encapsulated the gist of tonight's events. It was a night of firsts, a night of seconds, and a night of lasts.

Firsts! In the first time in my memory, we took all 9 guys riding a pace line all the way to the finish. I can't remember ever finishing with every single starter.

Second First! If anyone's crank has ever fallen off of their bike during a ride, I've never heard of it. Tonight it happened. We passed Mike standing by the road holding up his left crank, shoe still attached. Picture that...

First second! It came down to a sprint, and there was little doubt Miller would win it. Still, I was positioned to have a shot - sort of. With a fresh John, Mike, Jimmy, and Miller right behind me there was no way I could carry the lead all the way to the line. All they need do is let me wear down, then zip around my draft in the final seconds. So my plan was to do the unexpected - take it out hard, then quickly fade. I knew the second I began to drop, they'd sense weakness and pounce. The trick was to go hard enough to break the chase pack to two riders (John T. and Miller), then latch on as they moved around. If I could get them to jump soon enough, I could draft off them, and pounce at the line. It almost worked.

Jimmy was able to hang in there.

This gave me a critical one-more-bike distance I had to deal with. I made up the gap, came around, and was beginning to close it tight to Miller when we hit the line. I simply ran out of time. I would call it a three-way tie for second (first second, second second, third second). Obviously I was first second.

Lasts! One of IronBill's inviolable dictums is "Never disrespect anyone preparing your food". Just don't do it. Jimmy forgot this tonight when talking to the night manager (who also happened to be running the register). He asked for a sweet potato (or is that "sweat potato"?), which Dan had already told him was unavailable. "Out", was the terse reply. "When did you run out of them?", Jimmy asked with a smile and a laugh. "Because there are none in the store" said the manager, cold, dead eyes staring through Jimmy. Needless to say Jimmy's levity was not well received. Since I was standing behind Jimmy, next in line, and obviously with him, I got the splashback on the service, or more correctly, "lack of service". That's the last time I get in line behind Jimmy at Wendy's!

At last! Galloway paid up on the Frosty he owed me. Thanks, Tim!

Good political advice says you define yourself before your enemies get the chance to do it for you. With that in mind, my exact quote was:

"Mike, Lori might be interested in this... since Mrs. Strunk got a bike, Leisa has gotten interested in riding. There might wind up being a good sized women's group out there!"

A couple of the more weight-sensitive lady-type dudes that rode with us tonight (whose names rhyme with "bike" and "shao-lin") began to instantly make something out of nothing (kind of like the scientific belief that all the matter in the universe sprang into being from nothing, which to science makes more sense than the possibility of a divine being?). For the record, the statement is describing the size of the group, not the ladies in it.

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